Mornings.

A glimpse into our mornings…

When I was younger, I always envisioned what I thought our “family” mornings would be like when I was married with kids. Mind you, I had a very normal childhood that really did not include these crazy fantasies I conjured up in my head. We, like the typical family, were rushed around in the mornings to get everyone to their appropriate places. That was just life. Most of my mom’s mornings were spent yelling at my brother to get up….that boy could sleep through a tornado. Actually, he once did sleep through a tornado, literally. Looking back, I bet she had to get up at least an hour earlier than normal just to start waking Adam up. I, of course, being the golden child, ahemmm, got right up when told and my reward was that my dad took me by Hardees for a sausage biscuit on the way to school. My downfall- I did not like to talk in the mornings. I don’t remember much talking, but it all seemed so normal. It WAS normal.

However, I had a different perception of how I thought my future would play out. Don’t we all? Call me nostalgic, sentimental etc. I’ve always known I would have done better living in a different era, such as the 40’s or 50’s, as my mom tells me all the time. I envisioned my day beginning with me getting up before everyone else, taking my shower and doing my devotion. I thought the mornings would consist of a big breakfast cooked by yours truly, fresh flowers on the table, Jon sipping his coffee while reading his paper, dressed in his finest work attire, the kids at the table all smiles, cute outfits, ready for school, wonderful conversations…you know enjoying that good, quality family time before we all parted ways for our days to begin. We would exit the house with hugs and kisses and couldn’t wait until we met again. I would send the family off to school and work while I got busy cleaning the house and cooking that night’s dinner, from scratch. Oh what a joyous life! I know, I know…Leave It to Beaver style but I loved the idea of it.


Where is the insert “screeching halt” sound button??????? Hello????? Really????? Someone slap me in the face and then do it again and then probably one more time for good measure. Am I crazy??? Yes.

Here is how most mornings play out at the Waterman household…

None of us are morning people but unfortunately we have to be. The day starts with me having really, really bad thoughts of all the ways I can crush, stomp, and kill my alarm clock. I hate that thing. In fact, a lot of nights, I choose to rebel and don’t even set the stupid thing. It is my enemy. Yes, I do have this weird internal alarm clock that rarely fails me so I don’t always need it. I learned to adapt without the enemy, but really time is the true enemy here. I roll outta bed after giving Jon a nasty look because he gets 15 extra minutes of sleep than I do (my choice to get up first though- hey I’m no fool, I want the hottest water possible for my shower!). I immediately begin playing the whole day’s schedule over and over in my head. Who has to be where by when and what do they need to take with them. Blah, blah, blah I just wanna go back to sleep. I drag myself to the shower, then I drag myself back out. In our old house I’d just bang on the wall (so lady like, I know) to let Jon know I was out of the shower and he had to get up (insert evil face for the pleasure of interrupting his sleep!) However, due to our current living conditions it isn’t feasible for me to bang on the wall and the bathroom is too far away from our bedroom (apartment living while we build our house), so I have the luxury of walking across the apartment, freezing and soaking wet in my towel (not as pretty as it may sound), to wake him up.

When I get out of the shower, I immediately have to start waking Drew up. Unfortunately, Drew inherited my brother’s inability to wake up easily. I’d say we tell him on average 10-15 times “time to get up Drew.” We know we are just saying it the first 10 times just to hear ourselves talk.

Emma is hit or miss. Some days I have to wake her up, others she is bright and cheery and gets up on her own. You never know if you are going to get “Sesame Street sunshine Emma” with her smiles and hugs or “Poltergeist Emma” with her scary face and crazy hair and mute self. I’d say on average she is sunshine Emma 1-2 days a week and Poltergeist Emma 3-4 days. It’s not pretty on Poltergeist days. She usually sits up in her bed with her entire head covered with the sheets and she doesn’t move or talk. Some mornings I’m too afraid of her to even go in the room. I’m kidding. Sort of.

Once everyone is up, we begin the rat race to find matching outfits, hair bows, shoes, breakfast, book bags, lunch boxes, keys, cell phones etc. I repeatedly shoot daggers and have Ally McBeal moments at Jon, as I’m sweating and need another shower before leaving and he is waltzing around, yawning, lathering up in eczema cream and cleaning his eyeglasses- EVERY MORNING. It’s quite comical actually. (I’ll let him defend himself and post on the late night version and how I shut down and can’t function after a certain time so he does it all then :)

Part of my dream about family mornings came true as we do have conversation in the mornings. Some typical things said in the mornings are:

“Mom, I don’t have any clean socks” (Drew)

“Eleanor, I need my work shirts dry cleaned so bad” (Jon)

“Mom, I forgot to do one thing for homework last night” (Drew)

“Mom, I forgot to have you sign this permission slip” (Drew)

“Drew hit me” (Emma)

“Emma took your cell phone and just called your boss.” (Me)

“Drew, didn’t you wear those shorts to school yesterday?” (Me)

“Chocolate pudding?” (Emma- asking for breakfast)

“Mom, we need new milk from the store. This one smells funny” (Drew- just this am!)

“Shut up Drew” (Poltergeist Emma- and yes we are working really hard on breaking her from this word, we do not even use this word)

“Do we have to go to school today?” (Drew, almost everyday)

“Where’s Emma’s book bag?” (Jon)

“Fruit snacks?” (Emma’s attempt at more junk for breakfast)

“Drew, get up the first time we tell you if you want to eat breakfast before leaving” (Me, everyday)

“Everyone’s gonna be late” (Me, everyday)

“Grab a hairbow for Emma” (Me to Jon)

“Where are they and what color?” (Jon back to me)

“Oh forget it, I’ll do it myself” (Me to Jon)- haha!

“Mom, what are we doing after school today?” (Drew, everyday)

“I can’t find Emma’s other shoe” (Jon)

“No school, stay home” (Emma, everyday)

“Eleanor, I need to get my haircut today. Do you have a coupon you want me to use?” (Jon, as we are walking out the door)

“Ugh, I’m so tired and I hate school” (Drew, everyday)

I do manage to squeeze in hugs and kisses from everyone (Drew won’t kiss me anymore) before they leave me. And I do tell everyone to have a good day.

Once everyone is out the door (Jon takes the kids to school and I pick up), I have approximately 2 minutes (literally) to get dressed and get out the door to head to work. I’m doing good most days if I remember to brush my teeth and put underwear on! I have actually left the house without shoes. It actually happened last week but I noticed immediately.

Yes, mornings are insane around our household. Somehow I have fallen in love with our insanity. Sure we could make some modifications to make it run smoother in the am’s, but that might require me to get up even earlier…and that just goes back to the whole “time is my enemy thing.” So for now, I will continue to wish I lived in the 40’s or 50’s.

I hope your mornings aren’t as crazy as ours!