You've Got A Friend In Me

It has been my prayer for quite some time now that Emma would be blessed with good friends in her life, starting as early as possible. Friends are an intricate part of our well being. We all need them. Friends aren’t usually hard to find, but when you have special needs, finding friends can prove to be challenging for many reasons (unfortunately as we have already experienced). Drew never had an issue finding friends and that was something I definitely took for granted looking back. I probably never realized the true value of a friend until having Emma. I knew that I wanted her to experience all the same things Drew did. Why shouldn’t she? She is capable of being a good friend just like anyone else.

So I am thrilled to report that recently, Emma has enjoyed many play dates with her new friend Meredith! Meredith is from our playgroup that we started a year ago. The two girls play very well together and have a lot of similarities. Yes they both have Down syndrome, but they do not see that in one another. They are just two little girls learning how to love one another and play together. They both really look forward to their play dates. And a double score is that I found a new friend too- Meredith’s mommy! :) Below are some pictures of their recent adventures to the pumpkin farm and NC State fair.

The fair-


Having fun at the fair!


They loved the carousel!


And the swings. I love their faces- priceless!


Too cute not to share...


One last goodbye hug!

And the pumpkin farm-


Enjoying the hayride


Nothing like swinging on a beautiful day


Say cheese!


Good friends

I don’t think I can illustrate with words what seeing them together does to my heart. I’ll just say it’s extremely rewarding and joyous. I have waited a long time for Emma to have a good friend and she has finally found one. We love you Meredith!!!

A challenge for all of us today...We have always been taught “A friend loves at all times”, “Do unto others as you would have done unto you” and the importance of being a good friend. So often these things are forgotten. Take time today to let your closest friends know how much they mean to you. We all need to hear how much we matter to people from time to time.

The Fair

The fun rides, the flashing lights, the delicious food, the exhibits, all the laughter and fun. Sounds like the NC State Fair is here!



The fair is always such an exciting time for my kids. They LOVE going. I have gone every year since I can remember. Lots of wonderful memories made year after year.

There is one memory that I do not care to actually remember though…



Yep that’s right. Each year, for the past 4 years, I have gotten a migraine either on the way to the fair (guess the stress of the whole event brings it on) or at the fair.



Let’s see… there was the time when I got off a ride and threw up in the trashcan next to the long line of people (so sorry people!) Then, two years ago I got sick in the car on the way. I didn’t want to keep the rest of the family from going, so mom picked me up like a homeless person on the side of the street and took me home. A few years ago they just had to leave me sitting on a bench and come back to me when it was time to go.

Last year took the first place prize though. My brother Adam, Jon, Drew and I walked down the midway so that Jon and Drew could ride a few rides. We had already been at the fair for several hours and I knew a headache was coming on. Adam and I decided to sit out on the brick in the middle of the midway (yes, with all the people and flashing lights, perfect environment for a migraine!). In case you don’t know, there are about 6 sections of brick places to sit. You will see why I know this in a minute. Adam decided he wanted to get something to eat so he told me to stay where I was and he’d be back. (I always have paranoia about losing someone at the fair- even adults, so I told him I’d be right there waiting!).

And then it happened.



I had no choice but to take off and find a bathroom. I tried calling Adam but his cell phone was dead and mine was almost dead. Not a good scenario. And why was the closest bathroom 100 miles away? Do you know how hard it is to keep yourself from spewing everywhere, while looking for a bathroom and trying to call/text somebody…anybody?!?!? I don’t recommend texting and puking. Haha. (I’m trying to spare all the yucky details, but some are pertinent to the story.) As I’m dying in the bathroom, I’m still managing to pull out my phone every few minutes and try to call someone to let them know where I am. Then my phone died. There I was laying on the nasty fair bathroom floor, with wet paper towels on my head, with a dead cell phone, a migraine, puking and so worried about my family being lost. All I wanted was for the bathroom attendant volunteer lady to massage my head and tell me it would be okay, even if all her teeth were missing. Guess that would have been awkward.



About an hour later, I make it back to the brick section. I waited and waited hoping my brother would come back to find me. I had no clue where Jon and Drew were but at least they were together. It felt like time was creeping by so slow. Where was everyone? I couldn’t believe the wrong turn the night had taken. Finally, I hear my brother yell “Helen.” That is my nickname from him. Okay, for those who have seen National Lampoon’s Vacation, envision when Clark Griswold sees his family after walking through the desert to find help.



Adam and I ran up to each other, so thankful to see one another, like we hadn’t talked in 10 years. Then we both immediately start explaining our sides of the story, at the same time. Remember the 6 brick sections? Adam was sitting at one while I was sitting at another! Who knew there was more than one! Finally we were back together but neither of us had working cell phones so he started asking random strangers if we could use their phones to call my husband. What a fiasco! I was worried Jon wouldn’t answer if he didn’t recognize the number. After 3 calls, we finally got him. Adam told him that I was sick but he found me and we would meet him at the ride the drop zone. We were staring right at it. When Adam hung up, I felt so much relief! Finally we would all be back together and we could get the heck outta there! Adam and I make our way to the drop zone and we wait, and wait, and wait. No Jon. We wait some more. No Jon. So then began round two of borrowing cell phones. When Jon answered he wanted to know what had happened and why we weren’t at the drop zone. We told him we WERE at the drop zone. And then the mystery was solved, once again….who knew there were 2 drop zones! Apparently there are multiples of everything at the fair. Ugh…about 30 minutes later we were one big happy family again. Jon didn’t even believe the things that had happened to us. Another migraine story for the books!

I have set my own “I’m such a nerd” record. I am praying this year won’t make for 5 years in a row. Therefore, I came up with a “Do not get a migraine checklist” for myself.

-went to bed early last night- check
-ate breakfast this am- check
-going to take 2 ibuprofen with my lunch for good measure- check
-going to have some caffeine before leaving- check
-changed out my contacts so dry eyes won’t give me a headache- check

Here’s hoping my precautionary measures will be enough to keep the big beast away so I can enjoy my afternoon at the fair!

New House

Yesterday Jon and I drove out to our new house, in Rolesville. We had not been out there in a couple of weeks because of our crazy schedules. Also, we knew all the rain we had put everything behind schedule. I was SHOCKED when we drove up to see the whole house framed!!! A mix of emotions hit me all at once. I am very excited but nervous (as with any new venture) that it is becoming so real.

The front of the house-



The back of the house-



The side-



And the backyard (I'm excited to have a big backyard. Our property goes back past the trees! I hope to have a garden there :)-



It is actually happening! We've come a long way since putting our old house on the market in January. God is good and we feel very blessed. This is HIS house and will be used for HIS purpose. I hope to have many opportunities to fellowship in our new home. I do need a dining room table first! If anyone knows of a gently used one, let me know!

Welcome To Holland

In honor of Down Syndrome Awareness Month in October and on behalf of my precious Emma, here is a writing from Emily Kingsley that describes the feelings I felt the day I found out Emma had Down syndrome.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I strongly agree.

Rebel

Rebel.

Yup, that’s right. I rebelled. Look out world…or should I say, Raleigh, NC. Generally speaking, I am not impulsive at all. In fact, typically I over analyze everything before even making a decision, then I usually question if I made the right one. I am definitely an over thinker, which is not always a good thing. So when impulsivity knocked on my door yesterday, I welcomed it.

Ah, yesterday. Hello impulsivity. My friend.

I cashed in on a gift certificate for my birthday for a manicure/pedicure (thanks Samantha, I enjoyed every minute of it!!!). It’s been a not-so-groovy week and I really wanted to take a break from the craziness for a little bit. I proudly entered the nail salon ready to embark on my nail transformation, shaved legs and all.

As I stood there, dizzy by all the colors to choose from, my mind started swirling. I usually think whatever color you pick reflects the type of person you are or perhaps the mood you are in that day. I perused the sheers and thought -nah, I want some color to feel like I’m getting my money’s worth. Then the pink’s -nah, I’m not in a pretty kind of mood. Then the red’s -nah, not in a saucy kind of mood either. Hmmm. What to do, what to do. Then there was black. I thought-Well hello there black nail polish. You sure do present an interesting dilemma and I LIKE IT. Of course I picked up the bottle, put it down, and picked it up, put it down. Looked around to see if anyone could see me that might comment. Then my internal battle began. However, my rebellion overpowered and won. I grabbed the bottle and proudly sat down in the chair to begin the pedicure.

Me: I chose black!!! (all proud)

Nail Salon worker: You won black polish?

Me: Yes, I’m feeling wild today!

Worker: Wha??? Wild? You jus call black polish wild? (Giggle, Giggle)

Me: Yes, I’m being wild…before I have to go to carpool that is.

Worker: If you won be wild, you paint nails black, den red, den white. Das wild. Not jus black.

Me: Oh no, I think I’ll just stick with black for today. I need to ease my way into being wild. (Doesn’t this person know how bad I agonized over picking black in the first place?!?)

Worker: (turns to speak to co-worker, in their language of course). Translation: dis why girl thinks she bein wild. Das funny!

Worker: Okay, we stic wif black if dat make you happy.

Me: yes, that’s exactly what I’d like.

Then onto the manicure…

Worker: you won black for fingah’s too?
Me: Yes, but not the whole nail. I’m thinking of just the tips for something a little different.

Worker: you won fake tips?

Me: What? No! Just paint the tips of my nails black is good.

Worker: Oh…

(Apparently I’m not as rebellious as I thought!)

Worker: Is okay wif you if I put lil silver on nail over da black?

Me: Um, I guess. (Otherwise you might boo me outta this place)

Worker: you won design on nail?

Me: No, that’s okay. I guess the black tip and silver is all I can handle.

Worker: ness time you come in, you be wild den okay?

Me: Sure thing.

I must say it was a great time. We laughed and laughed. Jill joined me in the experience and we were there over 2 hours. The staff was a lot of fun. It was a husband/wife combo. And I left with black toenails and black and silver striped nails. Not really digging the silver stripe so much but I gave into peer pressure what can I say?

I suggest you find your inner rebel (in a safe, unharming fashion of course).

Mornings.

A glimpse into our mornings…

When I was younger, I always envisioned what I thought our “family” mornings would be like when I was married with kids. Mind you, I had a very normal childhood that really did not include these crazy fantasies I conjured up in my head. We, like the typical family, were rushed around in the mornings to get everyone to their appropriate places. That was just life. Most of my mom’s mornings were spent yelling at my brother to get up….that boy could sleep through a tornado. Actually, he once did sleep through a tornado, literally. Looking back, I bet she had to get up at least an hour earlier than normal just to start waking Adam up. I, of course, being the golden child, ahemmm, got right up when told and my reward was that my dad took me by Hardees for a sausage biscuit on the way to school. My downfall- I did not like to talk in the mornings. I don’t remember much talking, but it all seemed so normal. It WAS normal.

However, I had a different perception of how I thought my future would play out. Don’t we all? Call me nostalgic, sentimental etc. I’ve always known I would have done better living in a different era, such as the 40’s or 50’s, as my mom tells me all the time. I envisioned my day beginning with me getting up before everyone else, taking my shower and doing my devotion. I thought the mornings would consist of a big breakfast cooked by yours truly, fresh flowers on the table, Jon sipping his coffee while reading his paper, dressed in his finest work attire, the kids at the table all smiles, cute outfits, ready for school, wonderful conversations…you know enjoying that good, quality family time before we all parted ways for our days to begin. We would exit the house with hugs and kisses and couldn’t wait until we met again. I would send the family off to school and work while I got busy cleaning the house and cooking that night’s dinner, from scratch. Oh what a joyous life! I know, I know…Leave It to Beaver style but I loved the idea of it.


Where is the insert “screeching halt” sound button??????? Hello????? Really????? Someone slap me in the face and then do it again and then probably one more time for good measure. Am I crazy??? Yes.

Here is how most mornings play out at the Waterman household…

None of us are morning people but unfortunately we have to be. The day starts with me having really, really bad thoughts of all the ways I can crush, stomp, and kill my alarm clock. I hate that thing. In fact, a lot of nights, I choose to rebel and don’t even set the stupid thing. It is my enemy. Yes, I do have this weird internal alarm clock that rarely fails me so I don’t always need it. I learned to adapt without the enemy, but really time is the true enemy here. I roll outta bed after giving Jon a nasty look because he gets 15 extra minutes of sleep than I do (my choice to get up first though- hey I’m no fool, I want the hottest water possible for my shower!). I immediately begin playing the whole day’s schedule over and over in my head. Who has to be where by when and what do they need to take with them. Blah, blah, blah I just wanna go back to sleep. I drag myself to the shower, then I drag myself back out. In our old house I’d just bang on the wall (so lady like, I know) to let Jon know I was out of the shower and he had to get up (insert evil face for the pleasure of interrupting his sleep!) However, due to our current living conditions it isn’t feasible for me to bang on the wall and the bathroom is too far away from our bedroom (apartment living while we build our house), so I have the luxury of walking across the apartment, freezing and soaking wet in my towel (not as pretty as it may sound), to wake him up.

When I get out of the shower, I immediately have to start waking Drew up. Unfortunately, Drew inherited my brother’s inability to wake up easily. I’d say we tell him on average 10-15 times “time to get up Drew.” We know we are just saying it the first 10 times just to hear ourselves talk.

Emma is hit or miss. Some days I have to wake her up, others she is bright and cheery and gets up on her own. You never know if you are going to get “Sesame Street sunshine Emma” with her smiles and hugs or “Poltergeist Emma” with her scary face and crazy hair and mute self. I’d say on average she is sunshine Emma 1-2 days a week and Poltergeist Emma 3-4 days. It’s not pretty on Poltergeist days. She usually sits up in her bed with her entire head covered with the sheets and she doesn’t move or talk. Some mornings I’m too afraid of her to even go in the room. I’m kidding. Sort of.

Once everyone is up, we begin the rat race to find matching outfits, hair bows, shoes, breakfast, book bags, lunch boxes, keys, cell phones etc. I repeatedly shoot daggers and have Ally McBeal moments at Jon, as I’m sweating and need another shower before leaving and he is waltzing around, yawning, lathering up in eczema cream and cleaning his eyeglasses- EVERY MORNING. It’s quite comical actually. (I’ll let him defend himself and post on the late night version and how I shut down and can’t function after a certain time so he does it all then :)

Part of my dream about family mornings came true as we do have conversation in the mornings. Some typical things said in the mornings are:

“Mom, I don’t have any clean socks” (Drew)

“Eleanor, I need my work shirts dry cleaned so bad” (Jon)

“Mom, I forgot to do one thing for homework last night” (Drew)

“Mom, I forgot to have you sign this permission slip” (Drew)

“Drew hit me” (Emma)

“Emma took your cell phone and just called your boss.” (Me)

“Drew, didn’t you wear those shorts to school yesterday?” (Me)

“Chocolate pudding?” (Emma- asking for breakfast)

“Mom, we need new milk from the store. This one smells funny” (Drew- just this am!)

“Shut up Drew” (Poltergeist Emma- and yes we are working really hard on breaking her from this word, we do not even use this word)

“Do we have to go to school today?” (Drew, almost everyday)

“Where’s Emma’s book bag?” (Jon)

“Fruit snacks?” (Emma’s attempt at more junk for breakfast)

“Drew, get up the first time we tell you if you want to eat breakfast before leaving” (Me, everyday)

“Everyone’s gonna be late” (Me, everyday)

“Grab a hairbow for Emma” (Me to Jon)

“Where are they and what color?” (Jon back to me)

“Oh forget it, I’ll do it myself” (Me to Jon)- haha!

“Mom, what are we doing after school today?” (Drew, everyday)

“I can’t find Emma’s other shoe” (Jon)

“No school, stay home” (Emma, everyday)

“Eleanor, I need to get my haircut today. Do you have a coupon you want me to use?” (Jon, as we are walking out the door)

“Ugh, I’m so tired and I hate school” (Drew, everyday)

I do manage to squeeze in hugs and kisses from everyone (Drew won’t kiss me anymore) before they leave me. And I do tell everyone to have a good day.

Once everyone is out the door (Jon takes the kids to school and I pick up), I have approximately 2 minutes (literally) to get dressed and get out the door to head to work. I’m doing good most days if I remember to brush my teeth and put underwear on! I have actually left the house without shoes. It actually happened last week but I noticed immediately.

Yes, mornings are insane around our household. Somehow I have fallen in love with our insanity. Sure we could make some modifications to make it run smoother in the am’s, but that might require me to get up even earlier…and that just goes back to the whole “time is my enemy thing.” So for now, I will continue to wish I lived in the 40’s or 50’s.

I hope your mornings aren’t as crazy as ours!

Thankful

I woke up today feeling so blessed. Feeling thankful. I can’t say I wake up feeling like that every day, although I should. We all should. Though we face many struggles, our lives here are undoubtedly much simpler than many parts of this world. Just think of all the blessings we have before even leaving our house each day. Blessings we often take for granted, but others would give their lives for.

We wake up every day with our head on a comfy pillow, a roof over our head, cool a/c or warm heat to satisfy us, showers to clean us, towels to dry us, toothbrush and toothpaste for our teeth, clothes and shoes to put on our bodies, food with food choices to eat for breakfast, our spouses and children to begin our day with, food to pack for our children to have lunch at school, pencils and pens to sign papers for school, bookbags to aide our children in their educations, coffee to help you get that “kick start”, televisions to catch up on the news, laptops to check email before leaving. On the way out the door we grab our cell phones, ipods, car keys, pocketbooks, wallets etc. I just named 24 things that we consider part of our expected daily routine for us. The word “expected” should be replaced with “taken for granted”. I just named 24 things that we consider part of our “taken for granted” daily routine for us. And this is just to get us out the door each morning.

Let’s see what other parts of the world wake up to each morning:

A few facts I found on third world countries:

- Many children in Africa are desperate to go to school and learn how to read and write. But most can't - normally because they don't have enough money. You often have to pay school fees, and parents don't have the cash. Also, many children are needed to help out at home. Even children who do go to school have to walk for hours to get there. They have to leave home early to avoid the heat and arrive three hours before their lessons start.

- Children are sometimes forced to become child soldiers and fight - even when they don't understand what the war's about. In Liberia, children as young as seven have been found fighting in combat. Children often get separated from their family because of war - or lose their parents altogether. Many children are sent away from home if the fighting is really bad. And their fathers and brothers go off to war, and may never return. In Rwanda, 300,000 children have no mum or dad and have to run their own family, because their parents were killed in a civil war in 1993.

- Landmines - left over from old conflicts - also threaten children. No one knows where they are and children are often killed or lose limbs when they step on them.

- In areas where there are water shortages, it's usually the girls who have to trek for miles each day to collect it, while the boys might go to school. Girls as young as 10 sometimes have to collect the water for their whole family. Because the girls carry such heavy pots of water, which damages their necks and back, this can lead to them having terrible problems later in life. Girls who go out every morning to get water often can't go to school.

- Millions of children live on one meal a day, and many of them are forced to eat grass seeds and roots.

- In third world countries, you will see very young children begging in the streets because they have no parents, no food, and no place to sleep except for the cold, hard ground. They cry themselves to sleep at night because they're so hungry that the pain never stops. Many don't even live past the age of three.

Let’s take some time to really stop and be thankful for all the bountiful blessings we are given.

Today I am thankful for:

-My loving family who I am so blessed to see often

-A warm place to sleep and food to eat

-A job which helps provide my family with the things they need

-A car to transport my family places

-Quality time to spend with my husband and children

-The freedom to go to church

-Wonderful friends who lift me up

-Doctors who provide much needed care to my loved ones

-My faith

Today I choose to be thankful for the simple things.

What are you thankful for today?